he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
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Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
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Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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