im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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