Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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