1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
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i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
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Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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