they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
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Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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