Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize