it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I fill condoms, not promises.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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