So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize