direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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