i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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