take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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