When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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