just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize