Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize