i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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