The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize