He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
why is half of my head shaved?
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