I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
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I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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