Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize