i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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