Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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