and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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