I just saw a hot homeless man
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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