My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize