Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Girls should come with a carfax report
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
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So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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