You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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