I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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