I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize