True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize