I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
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If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
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Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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