I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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