Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize