You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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