I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize