she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize