My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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