so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
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I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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