if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize