Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize