***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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