and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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