Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
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Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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