I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
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i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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