I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
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Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
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At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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