You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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