Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize