By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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