Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
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Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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