I seem to have left my pride at pride
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize