i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
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They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
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I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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