i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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