Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize